I haven’t.
I haven’t been sleeping well lately, which is weird. It is a good kind of weird, but, sigh, I want my regular slumber hours back…
I also haven’t been writing anything lately. Not in this journal, not in my notebooks, not in the pc. Nothing. Nowhere.
I haven’t been smoking lately either. Half-sticks on a need-to-smoke basis. Maybe it’s the heat because, nothing, and I mean, nothing, beats the Tuguegarao sun.
I haven’t bought anything new for myself. I haven’t been hearing from my friends back home. I haven’t visited my lola’s grave yet. I haven’t been able to restrain myself from grinning like a total idiot for the past two weeks now.
I haven’t had the heart to kiss the-boy-with-the-cream-coloured-baseball-cap since I got back here. Now this deeply troubles me. If I did, who would I be betraying? Him? Or myself?
To betray with a kiss…
The moon at the window. How many times have I seen it? How many times do I stop and look as if I had never seen it before?
Things Amiss
[Current Mood]: missing
[Current Music]: ebtg – like the deserts miss the rain
to the boy who had stars in his hair,
guess how much i miss you?
from the girl whose eyes flutter.
[Current mood]: Missing the moon
[Current music]: Let’s Go Out Tonight by Craig Armstrong
To the girl with the infectious laugh,
As much as I miss you.
From the boy most likely to drown.
heart failed.
two moons spanned and suddenly things are missing. like that sparkle in my eye. the familiarity of your touch. that almost-automatic sense of completeness.
and what are we to make of the heart that failed to skip the required beat at the nearness of you?
right now, right beside me are long-stemmed white roses (never red) and heart-shaped balloons– arbitrary things meant to serve as reminders. reminders reminding me that i still belong to you and you to me.
do you? do i?
do forgive me for forgetting.
tomorrow, don’t forget to remind me to remember not to forget…
one sure thing amidst this blanket of incertitude.
b.-
my body misses yours.
-g.
